Scared to Open
by ani
Summary: set a few days after 'Holes in HisHer Soul'... Sesshomaru finally tells Seizansha what he felt that day, how he really feels...


Scared to Open 

By: ani

Disclaimer: the usual thing… I don't own Inuyasha; I'm just borrowing it from Takahashi-sama. I do own Seizansha and every twist, difference, and guess I've made about what isn't told or fully explained, so if you want to borrow any of it, ask me first, please.

Okay, first and foremost peoples, this is all guesses and speculation on my part. I have no idea how it's actually is/supposed to be, I'm just going off how I see it. So please don't get mad and bash me just because I've got it wrong.

Oh, and this is set a few days after "Holes in His/Her Soul." So, unless you've read it, you won't know what in the hells I'm talking about… but if you're just here for a good lemon… turn back now. It's barely a decent lemon by my overblown standards.

Anyway, onto the tale…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He sat there by her futon, a slight smile gracing his lips. That after all these years, she still recognized his aura even in sleep. She finally shifts, rolling onto her back, her arm tossing the blanket from her body. Sitting there in awe of her beauty, he was pleased he had left his armor in his den. Her pale silver hair was pooled around her head, a few stray wisps floating across her delicate neck, her shoulders. Her tender ears slowly started twitching, showing some part of her knew someone was there. Those full lips parted into a soft sigh, tempting him in so many ways.

Hungry eyes took in the site; her yukata barely parted open. His hand suddenly floated over her, his clawed fingers barely brushing her skin, the edges of her yukata as he ran his hand down her body, his fingertips lingering at her navel, the band of her yukata. He chuckled slightly at her low growl, as she turned to her right, finally facing him. Instantly grasping his wrist, she had actually made him jump as she started to wake, realizing another was with her. She blinked twice, not quiet believing she woke, "My-" she stopped herself, barely remembering his request, "Sessho-maru…"

"Yes. Yours," he replied, pleased she had not moved, his fingers still resting upon her.

She slowly shook her head as his words sunk in, "No… no matter how much I … I cannot…" she released his hand as she sat up, it falling into her lap, her yukata drifting open even more, "You begged me to stay here when you left, the only place I would truly be safe… even though there was another, a place I had always been… had hoped would never be taken from me."

Sessho-maru's eyes bored into hers, "You know why I had asked that of you. My concern was your life, not my own. I had accepted my life could end after we had been summoned to the castle. My only fear was and is for you, your life."

She smiled at his words, one hand moving to cup his face. "As mine for you."

"You had always been a student, an ally to me. Nothing more. I took great pride in your abilities. My pride has only grown at your improvements, your achievements. Not until my return did I acknowledge this." He said, his body leaning closer to hers. Her only response was to cup the other side of his face. "I had never faced this fear, my… … til that day. The fear in his eyes… the site of…" he stopped as her hands slid down his neck. Her breath tickled his face as he whispered, "Seizansha, I …" into her parted lips before claiming them with his own.

She practically melted into him, lost in the passions that wanted to overwhelm them both. Somehow she tore herself away, shaking her head, "No… no matter how much I want… how I … I cannot let you. I cannot let you throw your kingdom away just to make a half-demon your mate."

Sessho-maru reached out, gently turning her gaze back to him. "No one has the right to chose My First Mate. It was already determined the day I lead that priest unto Kameko. We have always been connected Seizansha. By fate, by blood, by vow, and now… by bond," he offered, holding his hand out to her.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stared at that hand, that offering. Her lips tried to quiver into a smile as her head slowly shook, her eyes sliding closed as she slipped away. "No… I can't. You deserve better," Seizansha muttered as she rushed out of her den.

All he could do was smile at her concern as he stood, following her outside. She was just where he expected, curled on her knees leaning over the spring, her tears falling into the water. "How… how could I accept, knowing you'd forsake what has always been important to you? How could you expect me to...?"

"I do not plan to forsake anything, nor do I wish you to, Seizansha. Do you think I would have offered you the choice? It has been many years Seizansha, yet I know you would still do as I wish. I have but to say so and you would be my mate," he paused as she slowly nodded, realizing its truth. "I am offering you a chance to prove your power, your strength."

She was instantly on her feet, spinning to confront him, "I don't want to prove anything!! The only one that matters has already said I am his equal. Don't you see, power has nothing to do with it!"

Sessho-maru smiled slightly at her, closing the distance between them. "Then why are you fighting me?"

Seizansha surprised him again, catching his hand before he could wipe her tears, "It's not power, it's birthright. No matter how strong we are, together or apart, you are still the Lord of the Western Lands and I'm still… no-nothing but a dirty-blooded half-breed."

At that, Sessho-maru easily broke her grip, slapping her across the face. Before she could do a thing, he suddenly held her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. "You are not worthless! You are exceptional in both your abilities, a feat that has killed many born as you were. You have taken your birthright and fully embraced it," he paused, releasing her and turning away.

She didn't have to ask as he stepped away, knowing more happened decades ago than she was told. Seizansha slowly approached, her hand floating up to his right shoulder, the ceremonial Fur he still wore. "What happened then?"

Many minutes passed before… "The Lands are in disarray. They have been since…" he paused, feeling her stroking the Fur, "My actions started the turmoil… Father almost died trying to get his human and Inu-yasha to this realm. I took my place amidst the war; none will return to Father's method of ruling; like the humans, treating the humans with respect," he spat out the last word as if it were poison. Seizansha could only nod, realizing what he didn't say as he started again, "Many have been foolish enough to try to take the Lordship, try to claim Lordship over me. They have all met painful deaths."

Feeling all his rage and disgust radiating off his body she finally stopped stroking the Fur, her hand sliding to his back. Sessho-maru held his arm out to her, as he had so many times before, and as before, she willingly took it, surprised to find him pulling her in front of him, holding her tight to him. Seizansha was astonished; she swore she felt tears falling into her hair, between her ears. Everything he had told touched her heart. That he did not feel she was worthless… that her powers were her birthright. She had stepped up to it and not only accepted it, but surpassed all expectations. He was the one who had failed his birthright. He had taken the title, proven his strength, but the Western Lands had fallen.

What he had not said… the very fact he had let down his walls, let his tears fall… it touched her soul, broke her heart. He failed his birthright… failed his Father. The Lands fell because he stated before all that his Father had lost the title… the day his Mother had died, as his Father wished. That even though he was strong, he didn't have the strength… the heart to reunite the Lands, rule as his Father once had. Seizansha wrapped her arms around him, turning her face into Sessho-maru's chest, "You are not worthless."

At her movements, his hold only grew tighter. "If one is unworthy of the other, I am not worthy to be your mate."

She shook her head, tears slowly flowing down her cheeks, seeping into his haori, "No. As you said, we have always been together. Our faults are ours together. All we are worthy of is each other."

Sessho-maru raised his head, releasing her and turning her to face him. The tears, the pain in each other's eyes told everything that went unspoken between them. Her words sunk through his pain, his anguish and into the heart many believed non-existent. The shock, the relief coming into his eyes showed her what it meant to him, that she got through. He saw and accepted the truth in her words, her actions. Seizansha's hands slid up his back, gripping his shoulders, drawing her lips closer to his as he leaned towards her, their lips meeting with such passion, such power neither could escape. Sessho-maru bent lower, hooking her knees with his arm as her hold tightened, their kiss gaining intensity. He quickly and effortlessly carried her back into the den, not stopping until he felt the futon beneath his feet. Seizansha escaped his hold as Sessho-maru knelt, placing her back on the mat. He could only smile at the site again; she was now fully awake, lips swollen, flustered from their kisses, arms and eyes begging, pleading for more, her yukata fully open, revealing her willing body.

A preditorial chuckle escaped Sessho-maru as his hand floated to her bare chest, slipping behind her, raising her bodily to him, her full breasts rising to his lips. Seizansha's head fell back, moaning loudly as he suckled, his tongue licking her, flicking wildly back and forth, in and out. She squirmed in his grip, pressing her mound over his confined manhood, causing both to growl lowly, Seizansha reaching for his clothes. As she reached for his sash, Sessho-maru suddenly stopped his actions, chuckling slightly as she whimpered at him. All he could do was smile as he sat Seizansha up, slipping her yukata from her shoulders, raising her arms, silently asking her to keep them out to each side.

What he did next was a total shock. Slowly removing the Fur of the First from his right shoulder, he draped it over her neck, twisting an end around each wrist. Seizansha could only stare in wonder as Sessho-maru took her hands, wrapping his hand around them both. She jumped, feeling their power building, their hands and eyes glowing brightly, the colors shifting from her demonic blue and miko pink to his eerie yellow-green again and again. Sessho-maru leaned closer as she closed her eyes, getting lost in the flow of powers, their energies merging and becoming one. "Mind, soul, and now body," he mumbled against her lips, claiming them passionately, forcing his tongue into her mouth. She moaned eagerly as he released her, her hands going for his haori, his untying the sash.

Seizansha finally broke the kiss, opening her eyes as she felt his bare chest, her hands eager to touch every centimeter of his body. Sessho-maru chuckled at her sudden inhale; she was so lost in the sensual she hadn't realized their energies were still merged; now encompassing them both. She could only giggle at herself, it quickly turning into a moan as his fingers explored her folds. Writhing under Sessho-maru's touch, raising her hips higher in a silent plea for more, Seizansha snuggled into the Fur, the scents of Sessho-maru, his parents' mating and countless others engulfing, infusing her senses, driving her to act. She smiled at his moan as her hands slid across his body, it growing as she wrapped both hands around his manhood, the growl he released exciting her even more.

Sessho-maru suddenly removed his fingers from her damp center, slipping his hand around beneath her hips. Rising up to kiss her, she tried to react to the strange growl-like rumbling coming from deep within him, but she found herself loosing all conscious thought, as though she was giving into her demon heritage, acting on instinct alone. Seizansha willingly let him break the kiss, flipping her onto her stomach in the process. Sessho-maru knelt between her knees, that continuous growl still rumbling from within him as his hand gripped her waist, raising her onto her knees, her hips in front of his. Both lost in their instincts, he ran his member over her dampened folds before thrusting deeply into her; their need, their desires controlling them. As his thrusts became faster, deeper, her moans almost turned into howls. Sessho-maru leaned over her, pushing the Fur closer to her face, growling out, "Breathe deeply Seizansha," before kissing her cheek as he pulled back.

Seizansha, following instinct and orders, buried her face in the Fur, breathing in the scents of so many matings, so many others. The scents briefly brought her to her senses, smiling as Sessho-maru took her right leg, pressing it up to her side. She pulled her left up in the same position, rolling onto her back, Sessho-maru still within her, his thrusts hitting different places, sending completely new sensations through her.  Seizansha gasped at the power building within her, her need and desire reaching new heights as he leaned over her, kissing her roughly, that same growl-like rumble returning, making her completely yield to Sessho-maru's actions.

The pleasure and power building within and around them finally broke, overwhelming both as the light, their power exploded outward, the energy waves making her den tremble with them, their climaxes leaving both drained, exhausted yet fulfilled and exhilarated. Pure demon blood allowing him to recover first, Sessho-maru removed the Fur from her wrists, keeping it beneath them as he pressed Seizansha close, rolling onto his back. She snuggled into his right side, heaving a great sigh as she pillowed her head on his shoulder, turning to him. He smiled at the dreamy look upon his Mate's face, the confusion in her golden eyes as she pulled one end of the Fur across his chest, "Not only as my Mate, but as my Lady."

She felt his chuckle rumble through him as her eyes widened in surprise, her left hand stroking his hair away from his face, "But what of that growl?"

Sessho-maru's arm slid down her side, turning her hips away from him as he placed his hand over her womb, "A necessity when in human form." The faint signs, the changes in her scent, her body starting within her, only made both of them smile. Overcome with such joy, such love and happiness, Seizansha laughed openly before stretching against him, pulling him into a soul-touching kiss, "Aishiteru, My Sessho-maru," she whispered as she broke the kiss, curling up into him again.

He turned to her, burying his nose between her ears, smiling to himself as she instantly fell asleep. Slowly stroking her back, he replied the one way he had always wanted… "Aishiteru, My Lady Seizansha."

He barely felt the kiss placed upon his heart as he allowed himself to sleep in her arms.


End file.
